Rising from the ashes

Demons.  Somewhat of a strong word that has many different meanings to different people. When seeing this word some might picture a dark creature that represents evil and hatred.  Others might immediately think of the Exorcist where an un-worldly creature is able to take over ones body.  But what about the demons and conflicts within ourselves? Are they all bad or can people overcome them? Many famous artists, musicians, and poets that have been affected by their own inner demons were able to control them and use them towards their creativity.  Artists such as Vincent Van Gogh used his demons as creative energy, yet in the end it led to his suicide.  So the real question is: Is one able to rise above their own demons without self destruction? Is one able to break down and fall apart, but in the end still have the ability to be reborn, like the ashes of the phoenix?  

In the book A Question of Power we find the main character, Elizabeth, struggling with mentally issues.  She is constantly battling inner demons and visions that slowly drive her to her insanity.  Throughout the first part of the book, Elizabeth is in constant conflict with the muse, Medusa.  Being a muse of divinity and power, Medusa is able to torment Elizabeth with “thunder bolts” of hatred, humility, and judgment. Her struggles of being tortured and ridiculed tear her apart and break her down to the point where she can no longer handle the emotional and physical beatings of Medusa. During her the conflicts that she faces, she also has a companion by the name of Sello who acts more as an observer rather than a victim. Elizabeth’s war within herself slowly affects her mind as well as her physical being to the point where she is close to self destruction.  Just when she is about to give up and is “thrown into death”, Elizabeth soon realizes that she is able to rise above her inner quarrels and “springs to life again, laughed and fling her hands into the air with a bounding sense of liberation” (100).      

Yet the demons and evil that come upon her have not come to hurt her.  Instead, we see that the pain that she faces is only there to help her overcome and rise above her inner quarrels; pushing her to break down and then build herself up again.  The demons, visions, and pain that she goes through within herself are there to help destroy her “old self” and help her create a “new one”.

I feel that in order to re-create ourselves, we need to look back at our past and see what we did wrong and what we failed to do.  By doing this, we might find ourselves shredding our own self apart; splitting ourselves into three different people.  At some point we find ourselves attacking, ridiculing, judging, mocking and degrading our self; acting as the Medusa. At the same time, we see another part of ourselves being the observer, acting as Sello.  And lastly, we have our own self playing the victim; going through all the motions of pain and suffering.  In a sense, that is exactly what Elizabeth was doing.  Her subconscious took over and forced her to come to reality of what she needed to change.  In order to change, she had to face her demons and anger that she had inside herself.  Luckily, Elizabeth was able to over come and control the conflicts that she had inside creating her new self and a new life: “May I never contribute to creating dead worlds, only new worlds” (100.)

Looking at the topic this week, I have come to the conclusion that everyone has gone through something like this with their subconscious at least one point in their life.  For many, we are able to defeat our demons or conflicts within ourselves and grow from it. We are able to take that experience and find ourselves molded into a new person.  For others, the problems and conflicts within themselves are too much and it ends in self destruction.